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Ludicrous Aspects Of Christianity
A Response To The Challenge Of The Bishop Of Manchester

written by "Holyoak, Austin"
... thief, he would be charged as an accessory before the fact, and would be provided with board and lodging at the expense of the county for at least twelve months. This was done that another prophecy might be fulfilled, which said, "Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy king cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass." But this prophet must have been an ass, or he would have known that even the Son of man would find it difficult to sit upon two asses of such unequal size at the same time. Apart from the absurdity of the story, it is an example of very loose notions indeed of the rights of property, which, if stated of Mahomet, of Joseph Smith the Mormon, or any other founder of a religious sect, would be quoted as a proof of his obliquity of moral vision. After this successful exploit of taking unto himself other people's goods, Jesus became quite daring; and when he got to Jerusalem he went into the temple of God, where he found a number of people carrying on their usual business. He had no more right there than they had—in fact, not so much, as he was a stranger to the city. But, notwithstanding this, he got a rope, and thrashed every one out of the place, upsetting the tables and chairs, and creating such a consternation as only a Bedlamite broken loose would be likely to produce. Though this was immediately after the appropriation of the two donkeys, upon which he had actually ridden to the temple, he called all the tradespeople dishonest, and accused them of having turned the place into a den of thieves. Whatever it might have been before he came, certainly one would think the designation not inappropriate after the arrival of himself and his disciples. He was not arrested on the spot for this act of assault and battery; but what should we think of the City Police Commissioner if he neglected to order into custody any mad enthusiast who might so conduct himself on the Stock Exchange? But he...

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