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The Albany Depot : a Farce
written by "Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920"
... I suppose she's—she's here. How do you do, Amy? So glad—" He continues his furtive inspection of the door-way, and Willis turns away with a snicker. Mrs. Campbell: "Willis, what are you laughing at? Is there anything wrong with my bonnet? Agnes, is there? He would let me go about looking like a perfect auk. Did I bang it getting out of the coupe. Do tell me, Willis!" Mrs. Roberts, to her husband: "You don't mean to say you haven't seen her yet?" Roberts, desperately: "Seen her? How should I know whether I've seen her? I never saw her in my life." Mrs. Roberts: "Then what are you looking for, in that way?" Roberts: "I—I'm looking for her husband." Mrs. Roberts: "Her husband?" Roberts: "Yes. He keeps coming back." Campbell bursts into a wild shriek of laughter. Mrs. Roberts, imploringly: "Willis, what does it mean?" Mrs. Campbell, threateningly: "Willis, if you don't behave yourself—" Mrs. Roberts, with the calm of despair: "Well, then, she isn't coming! She's given us the slip! I might have known it! Well, the cat might as well come out of the bag first as last, Amy, though I was trying to keep it in, to spare your feelings; I knew you'd be so full of sympathy." Suddenly to her husband: "But if you saw her husband—Did he say she sent him? I didn't dream of her being married. How do you know it's her husband?" Roberts: "Because—because she went out and got him! Don't I tell you?" Mrs. Roberts: "Went out and got him?" Roberts: "When I spoke to her." Mrs. Roberts: "When you spoke to her? But you said you didn't see her!" Roberts: "Of course I didn't see her. How should I see her, when I never saw her before? I went up and spoke to her, and she said she wasn't the one. She was very angry, and she went out and got her husband. He was tipsy, and he's been coming back ever since. I don't know what to do about the wretched creature. He says I've...

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