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An Almanac of Twelve Sports
written by "Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936"
...ash; Saturday5121926— December. Sunday4111825 Monday5121926 Tuesday6132027 Wednesday7142128 Thursday18152229 Friday29162330 Saturday310172431 [Pg 6] Hunting. Certes it is a noble sport And men have quitted selle and swum for't, But I am of a meeker sort And I prefer Surtees in comfort. Reach down my "Handley Cross" again. My run, where never danger lurks, is With Jorrocks and his deathless train Pigg, Binjimin and Arterxerxes! [Pg 7] January. [Pg 8] Coursing. Most men harry the world for fun— Each man seeks it a different way But "of all daft devils under the sun A grey'ound's the daftest" said Jorrocks J. [Pg 9] February. [Pg 10] Racing. The horse is ridden—the jockey rides— The backers back—the owners own But ... there are lots of things besides, And I should leave this play alone. [Pg 11] March. [Pg 12] Boating. The Pope of Rome he could not win From pleasant meat and pleasant sin These who, in honour's hope, endure Lean days and lives enforced pure. These who, replying not, submit Unto the curses of the Pit Which he that rides (O greater shame!) Flings forth by number not by name... Could Triple Crown or Jesuit's oath Do what yon shuffle-stocking doth? [Pg 13] April. [Pg 14] Fishing. Behold a parable! A fished for B. C took her bait; her heart was set on D. Thank Heaven, who cooled your blood and cramped your wishes, Men and not Gods torment you, little fishes. [Pg 15] May. [Pg 16] Cricket. Thank God who made the British Isles And taught me how to play, I do not worship crocodiles Or bow the knee to clay! Give me a willow wand and I, With hide and cork and twine, From century to century Will gambol round my Shrine. [Pg 17] June. [Pg 18] Archery. The child of the Nineties considers with laughter The maid ...

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